Searching for light

I don’t know how it happened.

When I stopped caring?

What led me to it?

Maybe I actually never did…

How do you find your light,

When everything seems pitch dark?

How do you find self love,

Accepting you, being enough,

When everything that you see

Reminds you of how things ‘should’ be.

How do you find your way,

Keeping those thoughts at bay?

How can you learn something new

After years spent dellusioned and gloom?

How can you find your smile,

When you lost all emotions and can’t even cry?

How are you supposed to live,

When you can’t even find strength to breathe?

What is left when there’s nothing at all,

That can touch your scarred heart and lost soul?

When you feel like a stupid doll

Not meant to exist in this world…

How can you survive and move on,

Finding a place you belong?

Tell me your secret to it,

I’m losing last bits of my will,

I crave for the peace in my mind,

I want to wake up feeling alive,

I want to step out of this cage,

The one I created myself.

I know that I should have the keys,

But nothing at all seems real,

And I can’t grasp the palm of hope –

I keep stretching my arms to this love,

But it swiftly escapes my touch –

I keep chasing its magical light,

That is only a memory now

Or a dream that might never come true,

But I’m tempted with its sweet allure.

As long as there’s air inside me,

I’ll keep searching for answers

for  you and for me,

For all of us needing some meaning in this

I’m giving my hand – keep holding on, please…

Hopeful wishes

Moonlight rain – starry chain,

Pearls of thruth – lies in youth,

Even more while growing up

Drowning in the void of doubts.

A black hole of countless fears

Makes you want to disappear,

Yet you hold a glimpse of hope –

Tiny spark that meekly shows,

That one day you’ll find your way –

Fireworks will crack again,

Lighting brightly your lost heart,

Proving that you are enough.

Beautiful as summer rain

Showing rainbow once again –

Strength is hidden in your smile,

Set it free and let it shine…

Hidden Hearts

 

Half truths – half lies,

Reality bites,

Reality stings,

You know what that means.

We play hide and seek

Scared to reveal… our vulnerable hearts,

We were hurt at least once

Some even more

Wounds heal but scars sore

And we learn to wear masks,

Shielding our hearts,

We create a disguise

And pretend we are fine,

Searching for love – bonds built on trust,

We jump and we fall,

Grasping the hope – we get up again

One more ring on the chain that’s holding our hearts

Safe deep inside…

Heavy… but better than being fully crushed,

We keep our fake smiles – inside and out –

Hopelessly trying to figure it out.

We look for the answers…. We look for the light,

Desiring a bond that could heal our hearts.

An honest connection unleashing the love,

We yearn for it daily, falling apart,

We want someone to notice

The truth that we hide…

Hope… Flash Fiction for Hurricane Relief #Flash4Storms

Here’s a tiny story of hope that’s always there when we need it most…

***

In a muddy-cotton colored sky finally appeared a pearl sun. It made me blind. After a terrific tango winds danced and countless songs of rain, this moment gave me a sense of peace along with a rainbow spark and dew on my cheeks melted like a mirage…

***

And it’s original form that I wrote in Russian:

В небе цвета грязного хлопка появилось жемчужное солнце. Оно ослепило меня. После жуткого танго ветра и песен дождя, это мгновенье покоя подарило мне искру огня, и роса на моих щеках растаяла словно мираж…

It was inspired by a prompt of a wonderful writer and friend Sarah Brentyn – here’s link to it – you should definitely check it & her blog 🙂

 

My Summer Dream

A chair

You watched me there

Water at my feet

I was dancing happily

Among coniferous trees

 

Bare feet on the velvet grass

Magic in the air

Birds were singing joyfully

Making us home there

 

Here in the courtyard

We had the sweetest dream

Everything seemed possible

Fantasies felt real

 

You were fondly watching me

I did it all for you

Dancing with my poetry

To say that I love you…

Midnight thoughts

I whisper

I doubt your existence

And pray to a several Gods

Who don’t seem to care much…

I question the sky, Sun and Moon

And stars staring down with allure,

But none of them answers my plea –

I keep wondering – is this life real?

Beautiful Words

Beautiful words always come from your heart,

Sometimes they are hidden deep-deep inside,

Sometimes on the surface they are shining so bright,

It even can seem that they make you bit blind.

Beautiful words… some are hidden in pain,

Getting through it might be an event.

Sharing your feelings… Sometimes it is hard,

Especially when you are lost in your doubts.

Beautiful words might seem not good enough,

Fear is covering truth from your eyes…

Too scared to believe in it, cause you’ve been hurt –

You don’t want to listen and can’t find right words…

Beautiful words can be your healing balm,

Something that makes you feel safe, nice and warm,

Something that shows what you feel or have felt,

Something that can help your icy heart melt…

Beautiful words… they need to be shared –

Life is too short to always be scared…

Reach out and share your beautiful words –

Kindness is magic for those who need love…

Your words can change future – save somebody’s life,

Making the darkness shine brightly from light…

Beautiful words… they are always your choice –

Speak from your heart with your full of love voice…

Beautiful words are what all people need –

Use beautiful words and you’ll always succeed.

 

Somebody else

Today I was somebody else

Somewhere where no one cares

Or maybe I lost my Muse

And that’s why I was confused,

Lacking a part of myself

I had to be somebody else…

I wonder, whom I might have been

And whether my eyes are green,

I wonder, whom I might seem

This morning when nothing feels real…

Plum haiku

Sunset

Sunset colors – leaves in red

So that we never forget,

How the pain is mixed with pleasure –

None of it can last forever…

Sun comes up and then goes down,

Always wearing guilty crown…

Good and evil – two in one –

Anyway sunsets have charm…