Wandering thoughts on Friday 13th

Snow-white blank memories of my old life are flashing… Dancing in front of my eyes… Fears… Anticipation… Smile? I don’t want to cry… to try… failing another time feels almost like a wish to die. I lie… even now… to myself and you – I always do… Don’t we all?

I fly and I fall but there’s no middle of just walking around – I lost this side… I lost this part of me. I scream within externally being numb but inside internally I cry… I have doubts inside… they dance while dreams and hopes just lie on the ground breathless… yet still alive.

Closed eyes… What images they hide? Will I ever find out? Isn’t life all about lies we choose and dress up like truth… I won’t be confused if so… No… not me.

In this world I am someone who can’t be seen or at least so it seems. I have pieces inside of me – shards of future and broken dreams, hopes, desires and sins – scattered and lost parts of me…

Will I ever manage to collect and see the kaleidoscope of my life that I hide within? My poetry… is it a key?

Words on the page will they make me bleed and see what I am inside for real… this afraid little kitten or Queen of this world around and within or I’m both… but where is the bridge – is it lost?

Words… They lead me somwhere. I know… images… feelings… I grow and something inside evolves. I wonder what does it mean… Will I ever be able to see Me?..

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. B.G. Bowers
    Feb 15, 2015 @ 01:30:31

    Kate, I love this piece, and think it has excellent potential to be even stronger if you edited it down – removed the superfluous words that don’t add any power or meaning.

    Example:
    Snow white memories
    flash
    My old life
    dances between irises

    I would be happy to help you. We can talk via email, if you are interested.
    Bianca 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • katsyarina
      Feb 15, 2015 @ 01:45:23

      Thank you, Bianca πŸ™‚ I’m glad you enjoyed. It was a stream of thoughts I had while I was travelling on trolley to see ballet & meet old friend of mine πŸ™‚ Haven’t edited just posted as it came to me ^_^ Thanks for your feedback – I’d love to hear & discuss it more… might be valuable experience for me. Thank you x

      Like

      Reply

      • B.G. Bowers
        Feb 15, 2015 @ 01:48:35

        Stream of thought often forms the best foundation of poetry. The power and beauty of the poem comes from sculpting πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • katsyarina
        Feb 15, 2015 @ 01:52:55

        Agree πŸ™‚ I wouldn’t call it poem though – I prefer all my poetry to rhyme this or that way & such pieces I call poetic prose ^_^ I think I’ve never really done sculpting πŸ˜€ might be right time to learn πŸ˜‰

        Like

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